Falling in friendship... all over again...

Have you ever had a friend you thought you'd lost to the past? Have you ever been to that point where  you could see the relationship beginning to stagnate and the only reason that you still held on was a respect for what you once shared and all the while wondered if it is time to let go and give in to the distance growing between you? And have you ever had one phone call erase all that, one evening wipe away the sourness, so you go back to being the girls you were 4 years ago, the girls who shared everything, the girls who'd talk so long that the shadows grow around them? Have you ever ended a conversation in frustration and doubted if you could ever relate to the person again, if you can talk and still read between the lines, if you can understand what is not being said as much as what is, like you used to, like before? And then a few days later, have another conversation make you forget that you even doubted?

Have you ever hesitated before revealing a truth, wondered how the other person would take it, a million potential wrongs feeding in your head, procreating doubts? Have you ever typed the same sentence a hundred different ways finally clicking 'send' before you could change your mind again? Have you ever feared the reply only to be surprised by simple acceptance, plain understanding?

Have you ever woken up to a mail continuing a chatter you'd thought had ended? Have you ever stayed up at nights rediscovering people you'd thought you'd known, in a good way, like finding hidden candy in lunchboxes?

Have you ever had a person you'd all but forgotten about, a person you'd relegated to facebook contact, a person whose name only comes up when your phone reminds you of an upcoming birthday? And have one chance meeting reopen a door, so you start where you'd left off, like all the years in between had never happened, and all those reasons you'd told yourself for the friendship ending never mattered? Have you ever walked into a house of your memory, walked smiling as you saw what had changed and what hadnt and pleased with yourself to still remember those little things noone else  knew, walked in and to be greeted like you'd never left?

Have you ever seen change happen, seen it, felt it and hated it, and not understanding it, walked away from it? Have you ever convinced yourself you've moved on from it, except for those few times when there was no one and nothing to distract you and protect you from yourself, when those questions you thought you'd answered would rise again and make you wonder if you could have done anything differently, and wonder if you were to blame or he or time? Have you ever packed away people like dolls, in boxes to be placed in attics? And move to a new future, to a new country, only to find them old friends and those old relationships for which distance was never a problem, nor time? And stumble upon the paradox of space and how it can bind as well as separate?  Have you ever written away a relationship, only for it to come bursting back in to your life, or creeping in slowly until a day when you look up and find the space that was, occupied again?

Have you ever fallen in friendship, lost it, found it and fallen in it all over again?