Grey is the new black

For far too long, people have spoken of the grey area between the black and white with an air of disdain, as though it were a choice for the weak, and the spineless, as though it were the path of least resistence for the ones who could not afford the effort required in order to follow the strict rules and principles necessary for follow a way of life in the white or the black. It is frowned upon, the grey, and its followers likened to all metaphors of disreputable infirmity. But the time has come to speculate upon this bigotry and extend to the grey the respect it deserves and restore it to its rightful place among shades. We shall first observe the various claims against this humble shade and address each one of them to debunk them as myths and pure libel spread to defame the color in question.

Myth 1: Grey is easy. Therefore it must be bad.

In order to fully address this extremely mindless propaganda,  I propose to split the claim into two subclaims and tackle each separately.

Myth 1a: Grey is easy

The most common and constant argument against following a middle ground that is not well defined as opposed to one end which is more clear is that it is easy. Let us get this straight. Finding the middle is NOT easy, as anyone who has shopped for Medium sized T-shirts in a Forever 21 shop during Christmas SALE season would readily attest. The middle line is hazy, it is unclear, it is not as defined as the extremes are and that alone is proof of the fact that it is a very very difficult road to walk and not for the faint of the heart. Rules are easy o follow once some brainless bullshitter make them up. Deciding not to follow them and coming up with your own on the fly as the situation demands is much much more difficult.

If still in doubt about the veracity of this little known truth, ask any employee of the Indian Ministry of External Affairs. These brave warriors of our country’s gates wage a war against the standard and the norm everyday. There are no rules in the noble hallows of the Passport office, just plain and pure greyness and procedures that change everyday depending upon which subtle tint of grey prevails that hour. Let not the extremists undermine the difficulty behind making up procedures randomly. It requires great mathematical skills to permute and combine assorted forms and red tapes of diverse sizes. Thus one day, you will be required to fill a online form, the next day you might be asked to fill out a paper form, the next you might be called to come in again to sign on the back of the paper napkin and so on and so forth. Which is why there never is an average, or a usual . Noone can predict how many epochs would pass before one can obtain an Indian passport. It may be a few days to a couple of decades and everyday brings with it its own suspense and anticipation that adds its bite to our otherwise mundane lives. Thus these extremely creative and statistically supreme guardian soldiers of our country and protectors of the grey slog everyday to save us all from the boredom and the ‘easiness’ of the black or white.

Myth 1b: Easy must be bad

Clearly, haters have never heard of Occam’s razor that claims that the easiest explanation is often the right one or something along those lines. And clearly, this assertion has been solidified by moms of teenage daughters, generation after generation, by reinforcing upon tender adolescent minds that easy girls are Bad with a capital B.

Myth 2: It is better to an extremist rather than a moderate.

Perhaps, believers would like to have a discussion with Mr.Obama on the virtues of being a moderate. No other person alive is a greater embodiment of the middle than this brave politician battling valiantly a sea of extremism in order to find the balance and get everybody to like him, than the current President of the United States. Everyday is a tight rope walk for Mr. President Sir who has been claimed by many to be a “moderate Republican from the 1990s” rather than the star of the Blue camp. But truth is the President just does not believe in camps. He is one for erasing the great divide. He is truly the hero in Mani Ratnam movies, the dove in the peace sign, the irritating girl in high school who always wanted EVERYONE to come her birthday parties and EVERYONE to get her gifts, who truly aims at everyone uniting and coming forth to form a better world where people visit malls everyday and the economy soars and flies high like Ms. Marilyn Monroe’s skirt. Ask him about the merits of walking the grey middle line and perhaps a chat with Dick Cheney on extremism can be a fitting conclusion.

Myth 3: Grey doesn’t look as good as black or white. I have only seen grey on sweat pants.

If Brangelina find grey beautiful, who are we to claim otherwise.

Thus the post hopes that it has laid to rest once and for all the extreme prejudice against this wonderful way of life and convinced people that grey is beautiful. After all is not french the language that makes dirt sound like love. And thus I shall end this perfectly pointless post with a perfectly pointless quote.