Once upon a time, when Anpu, Rd and I were sitting under the tree (the one near the dustbin) near stores sipping on chocolate milkshake, we started talking about what we look for in a guy. So involved were we in the topic that the discussion continued when we were back in class. And soon, every one of the 15 girls in my class was talking about what she expected from a guy and what qualities make up the ideal boyfriend. For the purpose of brevity and keeping in mind the concentration limit of any normal human being, I choose not to discuss Arthy’s expectations in this post. I will (try to) release that in a series of episodes on popular demand only. (Lol).
The following is an excerpt from our discussion. If I had any doubt that girls are the most confusing half of the species, then it was laid to rest on that fateful day. (Guys are simple. All guys are jerks. But girls…….even us girls cannot understand us girls). I doubt whether even Mr. John Gray (of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus fame) would be able to decode us completely. Also, as I write this I realize that some, if not most, of these wishes will go unfulfilled as they are in direct contradiction of Golden Rule of Life No.4*. Still, it would be fun to turn up 10 years later to see the guys my classmates have ended up with and to determine whether they have any relevance to the List. Also, I wish to remind the readers that I am not trying to draw any conclusions or classify girls. I am simply stating the problem, not suggesting any solutions. Readers are encouraged to interpret this in any way they like as long as it does not involve any physical harm to the author.
Girl No.1
Boy should be individualistic and should not try to change me.
Should have passion for traveling.
Should have a sense of humor and should not be short tempered.
Should read a lot of books.
Should give me a lot of small-small surprises. Otherwise life will be boring.(I swear that is what she said)
Should respect women.
Should consider my feelings and tolerate my faults.
Should be close to his family.
Should have lotsa frenz.
Look-able.
Honest.
Clean and decent manners (I don’t want a cave man).
Shouldn’t be over-romantic, dripping romance at every corner.
Author’s note: Am happy to say that girl no.1 has a boyfriend who exactly matches the above list. I don’t know about the traveling part though. And over-romantic is definitely not a problem though surprise might be. And thankfully said boyfriend has a lot of patience, enough to deal with even girl no.1. Go guy!!! No mention of Vijaykanth here tho:)
Girl No.2
Should be a very helpful person.
Should let me help others.
Should not be jealous and forbid me from speaking to other boys.
Should not see other girls.
Should not scold me.
Should not dominate.
Should be soft and sweet.
Author’s Note: personally *gag*
Girl No.3
Should be well-read, talented and cool.
Tall with proportionate weight.
Should have a big gang of friends.
His decisions should always be correct.
Should make me admire him.
May have had girlfriends previously but no serious love affairs. Kadalai allowed.
Should be a good speaker. (Should have good mazhupifying characteristics).
Should not be a sadist. (‘aduthavungala keduthu vaazhara type a iruka koodathu’ were her words exactly)
Should not be stubborn and believe that what he says is only correct.
May drink but no smoking.
Should be dominating.
Should give me money whenever I ask for it.
Author’s Note: It can be seen from the above list that girl no.3 watches a lot of tamil movies. Another more likely explanation is that girl no.3 speaks with a person in mind, though author would like to remind girl no.3 that person-in-mind cannot be said to have proportionate weight.
Girl No.4
Should be like me.
Should not drink or smoke because that is harmful to his health.
He should not separate me from my family.
Should have learnt atleast to my extent, if not more.
Should earn more than me.
Should have a lot of practical knowledge of the outside world.
Author’s Note: Be warned that girl no.4 is contemplating doing M.Tech so point no.4 is not for the faint of the heart. Point no.3 may be a result of watching too many tamil serials, but of that I should not speakJ
Girl No.5
Learned and knowledgeable. (like SD. She said that, I swear)
Tall.
Confident.
Should take my suggestions before making any decision and should not order or compel me.
No dum and no thanni.
Should not be possessive.
Should make me his 1st priority.
Should spend time with me.
Should treat me like a friend and my parents as his own.
Author’s note: Of everybody’s list, I found this and girl no.1’s to be most practical. And I am not just saying that because of point no.1J
Girl No.6
Should respect me.
Should be patient because I am definitely not.
Should be broad-minded.
Should be understanding.
Should not be possessive.
Smoking and drinking is ok as long as it is once in a while.
Author’s Note: This is another list I appreciated a lot because of girl no.6’s outlook of life. This is what she said:
“I will not force him to stop smoking and drinking but I will be very happy if he does, as long as he does not keep harping on the fact that he did it for me. I don’t care how he spends his money. It is his money after all. But he should not expect me to spend for him.”
And most importantly, “I will not compel him. If he doesn’t like me, he can leave. He should not do anything for me just for the sake of doing.”
*sigh* if only more people were as practical.
Girl No.7
Should not be a greek God. A look-able guy is enough.
Should be health-conscious.
Business-minded.
Lover of knowledge even if he hasn’t learnt a lot.
Should be madly in love with me but should not express it.
Should argue a lot with me.
Should be possessive.
Should not be too close with family. It should be just me and him.
He may have other girl friends but I should be no.1 in his list of priorities.
Drinking and smoking is fine as long as he is not addicted to it.
Should not be meticulous.
Author’s Note: This was the most entertaining list, apart from girl no.3 of course. Looking back, it seems that girl no.7 too has spoken with someone in mind though girl no.7 is currently single.
Girls nos. 8,9,10
Should be possessive.
Should be dominating.
Should keep teasing me.
Should talk a lot.
Should keep arguing with me.
Should have lotsa frenz.
Should not be a workaholic.
Should not be an only child.
Joint family.
Should not be an IT professional.
Should go shopping with me.
Should do stuff for me without my asking.
Should know more about me than I do myself.
Should give me suprises.
Should take me out atleast once a month.
.
.
.
Author’s Note: Girls 8, 9 and 10 had similar tastes and always hang out together and hence I thought I might as well combine their lists. There are several more items in their list but the above are the salient points. Please note that again they too speak with people in mind and may/may not be taken.
This is what the girls came up with as soon as I asked what they expected in a guy. So I’d like to think it was their subconscious speaking and not a revised answer. But, in most of the cases, the girl in question spoke with a person in mind. So I am willing to accept that their real wants might be different from the answers they gave, though this list is definitely enlightening. As you would have realized by now, there is no hard and fast rule to deal with girls and there is no such thing as a generic ideal boyfriend to suit all tastes. To the guys, I say, all the best with your updated knowledge bank. To the girls, I say, I’ll be laughing when I see you on your weddingJ
