Sunday, September 6, 2009

I am floating along, letting the current take me where it would. Every few minutes I remember I have to take control and I kick and I swirl and I create a maelstrom of confusion. Only to give up a few minutes later, tired and wet and extremely irritated and even more clueless than before.

Lost in the river, just one of millions of others, trying to conform and stand out at the same time. Wanting to be unique, just like everyone else.

Peering into the darkness, trying to give shape to vague, abstract emotions. In the midst of grey bursts of colors, I stand, trying to select one of many goods, none great.

Every once in a while, I get intoxicated by the power afforded to me, only to be brought rudely back to earth by chaos. Blinded by an illusion of control, I float on.

I rage against fate, I fight against the very notion of destiny. All the while, I long to be led by the hand. Life is easier when you have someone to dump the blame on.