Friends-Part 1

This is one post which has long been due. Not that I’d forgotten but I guess I was saving it for some special day like ‘Friendship Day’ but then I realized every day is special when you spend it with friends (yeah yeah I know….sooo clichéd!).

Anyway friends have always been a reaalllly really special part of my life. I’ve never been particularly close to my dysfunctional family, which is not that surprising considering the only thing all of us have in common is a hair-trigger temper. So friends have always dominated my life a little more than normal.

As long as I was in Fatima, I never had a fixed gang. There we had simple rules. Your gang was who you sat with at lunch. Somehow, I’ve lost contact with all my ‘lunch gang-members’. The ones who remain are those whom I hated in de beginning, tolerated later on and can’t live without now.

In DAV the rules got slightly more complicated. There, for the first time, I had a properly delineated gang. Also for the first time, I had fights over whom was close to whom, and who bad-mouthed whom and who was hiding secrets from whom. Not that having a gang leads to fights, its just that along with the sense of belonging also comes these unwritten rules and codes of conduct. Newayz if I managed to survive 2 years of hell in DAV without much serious mental damage, I owe it all to Hema and Sugi and Ramya. They were there for me at times when I’ve felt all alone, when it felt like it was just me Vs the Rest of the World. But thanks to them, I’ve never had to face the rest of the world alone. They’ve seen me at my worst and still for some unconceivable reason, they’ve decided to stick. Looking back, I realize I haven’t always been at the best of my behavior around them (being in close proximity with Nimmi had a tendency to unhook me for long periods of time). They’ve stood by me through my tantrums and all those tears behind the girls bathroom and they’ve protected me from the worst of it in ways I still don’t completely realize. Whenever I talk about friends having saved me, its always them I mean and think about in the back of my mind. I guess I never actually thanked you guys for doing what you did for me and I guess no matter what I do, I can never repay you for those days. I only hope I brought you as much joy to you as being with you gave me.

Post-DAV was when I really started speaking to most of my school friends (having been a timid follower of school rules, I never really spoke to the guys much in school, the operative word here being ‘much’J). So newayz, that summer of 2006 was when I met most of the people who later changed the way I looked at life. If I begin naming them, I’d never finish in 1 blog, so I’ll stick to those who really really made a difference. Harry, who is always somehow in the crux of things, be it good or bad, and whom I never got to and still dont get to see without a pink bandage swathed around some body part or the other. Maney, whose got incredibly bad taste in actors (you-know-who) but who plays cricket like a pro. Gan, who taught me snow-bowling and which I still suck at. Bha, one of the few people in this world, who is lazier than me. Dash, with his incredible and simultaneously awful sense of humor and who changed me in more ways than he can ever imagine. Deepak, with whom I’ve fought with more than most, but that’s because he is so much like me in some stuff and an anti-thesis to me in other stuff; there really is no middle ground between Deepak and me. Ani, who can make anyone and everyone laugh. Bd, who is one of the most responsible girls I know. Srivi, who is hardly ever serious and who continues to be stuck with me (same coll, same dept). Maya, always ready with a laugh (at her own mokkai jokes) but who is most level-headed than most people I know, constantly places others before self and who is extremely down-to-earth. Cd, who gets an entire paragraph later on. Ashok, the mobile expert. Subi, with whom I’ll forever I’ll regret losing contact.

I cant claim to be close to all of them and confide in all of them but I still know that I can always turn to them when I have a problem. Most of the times, they’re the ones whom i hang out with. Even that has dwindled down to only semester holidays now. We’ve never felt the need to coin a gang name for ourselves (the closest we’ve come is adopt harry’s email id-naamellam_tharuthalais- as our collective identifying factor) or assert ourselves in any other way. I guess that’s ‘coz this was never a ‘regular gang’ in the strictest sense of the word. For one, there were too many people in it. Second, even those people weren’t fixed. Someone would get committed and they would introduce their respective girlfriend/boyfriend to the ‘gang’. Or we’d have a fight over exactly and absolutely nothing and da Gang would split. Or someone would realize they’d had enough and leave 'la costa nostra'. I guess what bound us all together was this tendency to feel everything in extremes. Whether we are happy or sad, its always extremes for us. If we are happy, we laugh, shout, rag random strangers in the crowd and are generally on the top of the world. If we are depressed, we sulk, cut, break stuff, ignore everyone and make life living hell for all around us.There simply is no moderation. Thats just us.

Cd, who doesn’t profess her friendship from mountain tops but who is always there at the end of the day. The only person who actually enjoys my driving and doesn’t keep screeching behind me when on the road. Who can look at people and really look through them. Who knows exactly how to deal with people. And who loves handing out relationship-guidance to every poor soul who has the chances to meet her.

All in all, I’d say friendship was quite simple till then. In college, not so much. It took us some time to get settled. Even now we share an uneasy relationship. We’ve had more than our fair share of fights. We don’t go out very often and we don’t speak for endless hours on the phone but these are people whom I love and admire and who have taught me so much in these past years despite being so different from anyone I’ve ever encountered before.

Then of course, my busmates. Niru who introduced me to Ayn Rand and with whom I have endless discussions and also endless arguments. Seniors who Did Not Rag us and with whom we had ultimate fun Not Ragging our juniors. Bus days and Food Fests and Bday treats.

And then there were the friends I met through Instincts-seniors, juniors, my own batch mates. People whom I enjoy working with and whom I will always admire and who make time fly and even work seem fun. But that deserves an entire chapter in itself.