Divya Zeitgest 2010

Writing about the year that has been is such a cliché. But i thought this year deserved a tribute, if not for now, atleast for the future when i can look back upon reading this and remember. Already i can feel memories fading. I have to struggle to remember the events of the early months and have to read my old posts to get a sense of how they were. Hence this post.

Last year around the same time when i was being all nostalgic about 2010, a friend told me the coming year would me more exciting and filled with more opportunities for me. Boy, did any of us have any idea of what was to come.

The winter was long. I had my project to worry about and the uncertainty over applications. At first glance, I would say these two worries kind of defined my early months. But i also had amazing fun with my friends doing absolutely completely nothing. All those afternoons watching movies, taking pictures, long bus rides and talking and talking and talking, about the past, about the present and about the future. We discovered a room for our conversations and called it our secret. We had our fights, we had our spats. It was a sad time for some of us and it kind of touched all of us in some way. But regardless, i think we would all say that those few months were some of the most carefree in our lives. I doubt we will ever get that sense of nothing-ness again. I remember missing Anjana, while she was away doing her project in Blore. I remember people getting mad at me for not being a part of Instincts. I remember people i’d dismissed as extras in my life stepping in and gaining priority. But i didn’t give them much thought. Their time would come later in the year.

The spring was tumultuous. We had a farewell to remember. The fights that followed and the tears were the highest point of drama in all of our 4 years of studying together. Ironically spring was the time for a lot of lasts.. The project and university drama drew to a finale. I went on a so so vacation with my family. And came back to face the summer.

I’ve always loved summers. Even Chennai summers. But this summer was by far the best and the most life changing. If spring was the time for lasts, summer was the time for firsts. But summer was also the true farewell. Suprisingly this farewell was sweet. I met people I thought had dropped out of the horizon of my life, in particular Zameera. Some people took centre stage, in particular Maya and Harish. Some people gained importance towards the very end, in particular Brighton and Arun. Bhavya didn’t come to visit me on my last day in Chennai. That was a niggling thorn that would dig in further in the year. She called a few minutes before I boarded and said ‘Oh shit you’re going for real!’. Almost every minute I lived that summer stands so vividly out, even the mundane ones. I remember standing in the bank, staring around blankly. I remember sitting on my parents bed, the feel of the bedsheet under me talking on the phone to Maya making a list of final things for her to buy. Summer was for shopping. Summer was for goodbyes. Summer was for love.

Fall was an odyssey. Fall was for everything and everyone new. Fall was for realizations. Fall is returning to size ‘S’ dresses. Fall has already been audited enough, so no more boring you.

What I have learnt this year

I deeply value and need my space. I like crowds and I like having people around, but only if I can go back to just myself and my space after the fun.

I cannot do casual relationships.

I like and enjoy cooking. Especially for people I love.

If you can walk away knowing that you’ve learnt something, that is more than enough.

Not to hate something that once made me happy

People should inspire, not intimidate

Living independently is not about never needing help. It’s about knowing when to ask for help.

There is a fine line between laidback and lazy, and optimism and denial.

All guys are assholes and jerks.

You’re never too old to make a fool of yourself. And you should atleast once a month.

I can fall in love with places easier than I can with people.

I have never lost something good to not been given better. That there is a reason for everything that happens in my life. Sometimes it takes years to realize it but there is. But not for people. People walk in and walk out of my life without reason. There is no point trying to reason why.

That we are all more connected than we know. That six degrees of separation is more than a theory. Which means that you can never really live disconnected from the past. But which also means you are never alone and never a stranger.

I probably have bipolar disorder.

Hide yo wives, hide yo kids!

Foreword: This is actually a post I've been meaning to write for quite some time. But every time my writing mood disappears by the time I actually get down to it. I no longer even remember how this pet project started but I think it’s about time this collective genius saw the light of the day.

From the beginning of time, women have always been dealt the shorter end of the stick (or the smaller piece of the apple pie, if you want a cliché that is more relevant to our time). Thanks to Eve's original sin (oh yeah, thanks a lot bitch), we are the ones who, not only have to suffer through PMS and labor and menopause and glass ceilings at workplaces and being felt up on buses and…. well a load of shit to be concise, but also have to wade through tons of creepy friend requests on social networking sites from random social cretins. On the brighter side, most of these requests are shit funny, so I thought why not share the fun with the lesser endowed sex (yeah see how generous we are). So here are some of the requests my friends and I have got in the last couple of months. I swear on the holy ground of my forefathers these are the original requests and I have done no editing except to bleep out the names of the people involved. So all errors in grammar and spelling and any inadvertent hilarity are entirely to be credited to the requester.

Category A: The bait

This is the most common category. These requests are fairly short, just grub to see if the fish bites. So you might find that they are not more than a few lines, often lacking in originality and creativity. This is the category that the usual "hey there sexy" and "you look hot. Wanna be frenz?" belong to. This also includes all the corny one liners, the stale pickup lines, witty (you wish) responses to status messages and also compliments and questions baiting the requestee. Some actual examples are:

hi gorgeous:) every1 out there is just an unknown friend:)wat say:)n lookin cute n sparkling :)

your taste n attitude sounds good

u r very terror person i think so by the by am **** 98******** ******@gmail

Are you dead or alive? "Why" Because my religion says only the dead can be angels.

Are you in egmore?

Category B: The miff

This is a more advanced form of baiting. This involves the requester vaguely insulting or snubbing the requestee so that she may get goaded into an argument/conversation with the requester. Due credit must be given to Tamil cinemas, especially sucky Vijay movies, for making this approach popular. A few examples

hi ****** really u r so cute friend,am not telling lie,but u r not overcute,just i like u thats it, i wish to join ur friendship,can u accept me friend......

Author's note: In this not only was the requestee not 'overcute' but also her name was spelt so wrong as to make it a completely different name. I don’t know if that was on purpose or not.

Nice that u have written in about me section. Is it copied from some where or yours

Category C: The direct request

This is the one that does not fool around and comes directly to the point. The only good thing that can be said about this category of requests is that it takes so much lesser time to delete.

looksvery very cute may i kn ow ur cell no

hi ***** ur name is very sexy u can call me for fun

Hi I think I want to have sex with you

Author’s note: yeah been there got that!

Category D: The frills

This is the opposite of Category C. These are the requests that sound like your average Anna University answer paper and write a story for a single line.

I jus happened to see ur profile, when i was looking into one of ma fav communities.I read ur testimonials, it's very nice n i liked ur profile too, Its really kooool. Also i found some things in common b/w u and me. So i thought lemme ping you. If u r interested in taking me as ur friend then pleaz do scrap me.

Hiiiiiiii ***,

This is **** a BE from chennai looking for some gud friendships. Im jus hunting for a buddy hoo can b true 2 me, to whom i can share my thoughts freely and b there for me at all times.

Well i read ur profile, it's really nice N kooool. so i thought of buzzing you. Am really sorry if u feel that i had peeked into ur profile unnecessarily. Jus in case if u r interested and wish to take me as ur friend, then pleaz do scrap me.

Looking forward for ur great friendship. bye. take care. Chiooooooooooo sooooon....

hey **** u look same as like ma friend...i got very much shocked u know

heya ****.. i really dunno how far ma start up text is gonna capture urs...!! but i jst feel like u r some1 very much familiar to me ..like some1 i come across walking frequently....like ma cousin or ma neighbor....neither ways... i tot it would be gr8 to keep in cont with a person i ever feel so... hope u appreciate accepting ma invi special among millions of others ...lol.... if its the fortune lets get to know betta .. though i know u won be much interested in befriending a complete stranger like me.... even if i was in ur place would be thinking so... bt i really feel its worth a chance with me ... hope u appreciate it.;]

Category E: The professions of undying love

Ah! This is the category that’s the most fun! The ones that wax eloquent about your beauty and the romance that has bloomed in the heart of the requester, the ones that would make any self respecting chick flick watcher weep happy tears at the joy and wonder of true love.

If u dont mind we can married

I lov u chellam

i like you chellam

u r so beautifulllllllllllllll..............i wans to b frnd wid u forever

Author's note: All the above and a lot more were from the same guy

Hi ***** ...This is *** here .Sorry to disturb you i have sent couple of offline msges to you,i am not sure you have seen that or not.This mail is not to intimidate you or i am not flirting around here.I know i am totally a stranger to you and I got nothing to do with you and I don't know why i am acting so stupid to message to an unknown gal seriously like this.Some spark or something that urge me talk to you.Should have been seen you in my college i would have flattered that moment.Unfortunately I have passed out of college when u started your engineering.I would have definitely talked with you if i would been in India by this time,Its not like flirting kind of stuffs but more-like "Entha mathri oru ponnu kita atleast friendavathu irukanum or atleast one word pesanum" that kind of feel ok.May be I like to know more about you,if you think me as stranger or unknown person then whoever your friends now, are stranger to you until you talk a first word with them right ??So if you wish you can talk with me or If you think me as disturbance jst ignore this mail or send an word your not interested to talk ok.I have sent orkut request as well, hopefully i think u would have blocked me yahoo i guess and ignored my friends request on orkut as well but whats there in talking **** ....is that gonna harm you anyway ..nee irukura athai college than my sister also studying appo than i jst came by to your college and saw you.Typical gal tendency that your not responding to unknown person but i like that too but there are good ppl as well.

Author's note: That’s my personal favorite. This was one of a series of mails my friend got (presumably from a guy who studied at her college and saw her during some cultural fest and immediately fell in love and somehow managed to trace her. Unfortunately this was the only mail she had retained. I just wish she'd saved the rest too. Major potential lost.

hi ****, i saw ur photos,i admired photos, i like ur friend right side 3girls,blue jean,without glass,she is very cute,i like very much,can u intro that girl pls ****,she look like my dream girl.....

Author's note: This is a different approach I know.

This is what we go through. Every single day. Trust me, my finger is sore from all the deleting and ignoring and 'not now'ing that I do. My orkut scrap book is like a graveyard of random requests now. And so is the case with most other ppl I know. Unfortunately very few people I know still had the requests undeleted to send to me to add to this database. If any of you girls reading this, have any that are seriously funny, can you please mail them to me?

I actually considered putting a disclaimer at the beginning of this post and saying this post was not meant to hurt anyone's feelings but frankly, I don’t care. If your request was on the above list, thanks for the entertainment. We all really enjoyed it!

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In a tree by the brook, there is a songbird who sings: Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven

I am sitting in my bed in my grandpa's house applying body butter on my elbows and knees. I have to enjoy luxuries like body butter while I can coz soon I'll be back in LA and I'll have to grunge on a student's budget again. I am sitting and staring vacantly into space thinking about nothing and everything. I have no mood to write. And I especially cant write about what I want to write but I have nothing to do and I might as well write. Better than staring blankly and creeping out everyone in the house, I guess. My words don’t even have the energy to form themselves into coherent sentences much less paragraphs so I am just going to throw caution and good language sense to the wind and pen down my thoughts of the last half hour.

I want to dance. Not in a club with random strangers grooving around me, checking out the girls, getting drunk at the bar and puking their guts out in the bathrooms. Not some synchronized choreographed performance with a group. Just put the music on high and dance and whirl round and round in my room. I cant even dance alone in this country without waking up the entire household and then some. I wish I can go back to stone and cement houses where I can do anything I want to and noone would hear.

I miss my room. My own private room. How much it has seen my through! The tears, the midnight phone calls, the conversations, the blood and the pain of the DAV years and the clandestine trysts of the last few months.

Its funny how one incident can mask years worth of memories, how one person can define a season, an entire year so that when I look back at the year this has been all I can see is that one person, that one incident and some other random memories struggling and rearing their heads once in a while for recognition.

The year has been good to me but not kind. I got what I wanted, everything that I wanted and everything I wished for. But none whole, none how and where I wished for. I wake up in my dream everyday. But I don’t know if I like it. I don’t whether I am the one screwing it or the other way round. A bit of both I suppose.

The last few days have been wierd- catching up with the past and the past catching up with me. I met with people I knew as a different person from a different life, met them in the here and the now, met them as different people. Part recognition, part rediscovery and part reorganization the weekend has been, looking at old things from new perspectives and new things from old perspectives. But you cannot choose what you want to remember, atleast I cant. And with the memories I'd forgotten and remembered again with friends, came the memories I'd not really forgotten and never wanted to remember. You think you are over a part of your life. But it leaps up and bites you when you least expect it, when you are most defenseless- in boring classes, in long train rides, in the middle of some crappy serial when some chance remark sets off a wholly different train of thought. And you go over and over it in your head, dissecting and analyzing, not knowing whether you want it to end or not.

I feel like I rewound my life back 6 years, only this is worse. The past, I don’t want to remember, the present drains me and there is no promise in the near future. If I could go into hibernation for the next couple of months, I would. Its times like these that make me wish badly for my mommy.

I mentioned in my last post I have never lost a good thing to not been given something better. But now that I've crossed the point of no return with the good, I seem to be stuck in a state of suspended animation and not even the assurance of a better thing is enough to wake me up from this limbo.

Sigh. This has turned out to be one of those posts where you write an entire blog to say one sentence, where there is only one thing you want to talk about but you cant so you talk about everything but that one thing and yet manage to make everything you talk about only mean the one thing you cant. To all of you who cant make any sense of this post, I am sorry but that is exactly how I feel now too. To all of you who think you can, you're wrong.

Till next time, when I shall, hopefully, be in a more coherent state of mind, lots of love and happiness for the holidays!

The Birthday Post

So I have survived, successfully I hope, all alone in a strange country, paying my own bills, cooking my own food, doing my own laundry and my own grocery shopping and even waking up by myself to get ready for class (with a little help from my faithful alarm clocks on the east coast and one back in Chennai). And now i add turning 22 to the list. God, i feel so adult (read: old) already.

As all of you who follow me on Google Buzz would already know, I was super excited about my bday. Since most of my friends were free and pumped up about the holiday season, we’d planned a party (yeah finally I can tune the radio in my head that’s been playing ‘I will survive’ in a loop for the last 10 weeks to ‘party in the USA’). I went shopping on my bday eve for winter clothes in preparation for my trip to Chicago. It was my first shopping trip since I came to LA and aaah what bliss to finally feel like a girl again! I bought a cool pea coat and a wool cap and open tipped gloves (for ppl with long nails apparently but since I’d bitten off all my beautiful nails in the anxiety of 10 weeks, a sad reminder of all the sacrifices I’ve made to the God of Grad school) and I still had money left over to buy myself a bday gift. So i bought a EWBD (eensie weensie black dress), the slutty sister of the LBD. I would have bought a cute velvet dress that made me look like a schoolgirl but as my friends pointed out, balloon cut dresses are sooo last century, so instead I ended up getting a dress that showed enough cleavage to tattoo the complete works of Shakespeare on my chest in large print and still fit in Shantaram and the Chronicles of Narnia too. Not to mention, give my dad an aneurism. And as if the dress wasn’t tiny enough, it kept riding up when i danced/walked/made any physical movement and i had to keep tugging it down every few minutes.

But for all the excitement leading up to my bday, the actual event itself was an anticlimax. The party bus reached early and we were made to stand outside on the curb for a whole hour before we were let in. And did I say, most of us were wearing extremely pretty but extremely painful stilettos that were NOT made to be stood on for an hour? So that darkened my mood a little until i went in and checked the prices at the bar. Then my mood went totally black. 2 of my friends sponsored a round of grey goose shots as a bday gift (yeah it took 2 to sponsor 1 shot, so you can deduce the cost of living in this city) and my mood picked up a little and then we started dancing and that felt like eating ice cream after a long spell of pneumonia. And all in all, the club wasn’t out of the world. Any club in Chennai would be comparable minus the curfew. It did have cool performing girls in tiny red bikinis and fishnet stockings who danced on raised platforms and performed on hoops dangling from the ceiling, but otherwise, it could have been any other swanky new club in Chennai. So all you people back home, you are not missing much.

And my friends wanted to suprise me at 12 by getting the DJ to wish me (very original guys!) but the DJ was so drunk that he didn’t understand a word so they decided to suprise me by getting my friend’s American roommate to ask me out for a dance. Er.... I don’t know where the bday suprise is in that either but if i figure it out, I’ll let you know. So i danced and got tired and answered calls for a while and danced again and got tired again and decided to sit out the last 1 hour till the party bus left. And then i had a cheesecake cutting session back home and a mother of all skype sessions with some pals and a looonng phone conversation with a pal till around 5.30 in the morning. I think that was the best part of my bday. That and the sucky movie fest the next day with my pals and a long after-bday chat session with a friend with both of us just sitting in silence most of the time and listening to old rock songs and reading lamebook posts and laughing at the world.

So that was the fun part. That was the part you take pics of laugh and put on FB to show what cool friends you’ve got and what a rocking life you have. But there is also the part where I waited half a night for a lot of people to call who didn’t call, where i stood in the middle of the dance floor of one of LA’s most happening clubs, surrounded by throngs of people and yet felt completely alone because some of the people I loved the most wouldn’t/couldn’t take the effort to make 1 6 Rs call to wish me for a minute. And the part where I would have given anything to be with Anjana and spend my bday with her just like I have done every bday since I met her but I couldn’t because she had her exams. And the part where i spent most of my looonng phone conversation cribbing and trying not to cry about what a sad loser life I’ve got and how i have no friends.

So officially another trip around the sun comes to an end and like the e card Niru sent me, I haven’t really achieved much but hey I atleast didn’t die. A lot has changed in the last year. I cant even identify myself any more. That is something that simultaneously scares me and excites me. I have become a lot more mature and responsible and organized but I’ve also become a lot more cynical and a lot crueller. My priorities have shifted and changed until the terrain is no longer familiar. Have I learnt from the mistakes of the last year? Some yes, most no. Overall, I’d say the year has been great to me. 21 has been fun. 21 has been reckless. I miss it already. But along every step of my life, I have never lost a good thing to not be given a better thing. So heres to a better 22! Hic!

Second Love

Yeah I know I probably am being unfaithful. And yeah I know its too early to tell. And I know most of you at the end of this post will shake your heads and say "It'll pass. Its just a silly crush" and maybe it is. I mean, how can anyone fall in love in a matter of a few months, right? I used to be the girl who scoffs at this notion of first love. Come on, life is not a Gautham Menon movie. But here I am, a few weeks from my last post (Sorry about that!) gushing about my new found love. To some of you this may be no surprise having already guessed this would happen from the first few signs of amor (Look at me! I just used a French word in my sentence. I am so sophisticated!) in my last post. To others it may be as much of a shock as it was to me. Or maybe shock is the wrong word, maybe pleasant surprise is more like it. (Mindvoice: Have already used 'surprise' previously. Must check thesaurus for substitute. Oh forget it!). But all-in-all I am now officially head over heels. And what timing! When you least expect it, love smacks you in the head and leaves you all woozy. (I like Hobbes' definition better).

I've always hated it when people in love gush to their lesser-by-half friends. "Divya you should get committed too. Its so nice to have someone to take care of you"-so not the thing you want to hear at 2 in the morning when you have a project due in a couple of days and your stomach's rumbling because you've had no proper meal and there's nothing in the fridge to eat and no time to go buy groceries and no mommy to cook it for you. To all fellow members of 'Sidekicks-of-lovestruck-friends Anonymous', respect. And farewell. I know the look my friends give me when I talk to them about my new amor (ooh look again!). I know the look because I've been on the other side giving the look-part happiness for your pal, part jealousy, part exasperation, part get-on-with-it-will-ya. But just because I know it, doesn’t mean I am refraining from doing it. Quite the opposite in fact.

There is so much further to go I know. One autumn's romance does not a relationship maketh. And as time goes and the excitement of the novelty of it all has worn off and the flaws that were hidden at the start seem obvious, my love might waver. But for now this is enough.

For all of you who have lasted this long and come to this paragraph, I must congratulate you on your patience. Make yourself a nice cup of coffee. You deserve it.

So yes, I am in love. Totally. Completely. In. love. With. This. City. They don’t call it the City of Angels for nothing. There is not a day when the sheer beauty of this place cant cheer me up. Like today when I had to wake up at 4 to get to an early morning exam (8 o clock shall henceforth be referred to as early morning in my blog) and it had rained the previous night so the roads were still damp but not muddy like I'm used to , and the air is crisp and clean yet not irritatingly sticky and humid and your breath congeals in front of you when you breathe out and everything is vibrantly green and colorful even though its fall and I walk into the building and a man holds the lift for me just because and a lady gets in carrying roses the size of my fist (everything's big here. Lemons are the size of oranges. God knows why) and the entire lifts smelling of roses and….. (my internal grammar radar is screaming at me to break the sentence and stop adding more 'ands' so I'll stop. Btw I did the test horribly for those who are, you know, genuinely interested in those sorta things). And the people….god bless the people. In all my 21 years of existence in India, I have never met a man or any person for that matter who held open a door for me. And I haven't done it either for other people (See I am a fair person). But here I am so used to it, its become a part of my instinct to do the same. When people are kind to you, you want to be kind in return. And it makes you feel nice to do it. I swear, holding open doors and other related girl-guide-category-activities actually cheer me up. And I like the way I can wear anything and not worry about what people would say or what random strangers on the road would do and I don’t have to look back every few seconds when I'm walking home alone in the night (the only time I've been assaulted at night was when a bunch of Trojans[1] drove past me when I was walking home alone at 2 a few days before our game against each other and yelled '"SC Rocks" at me. Bunch of idiots!). I love the way people are big on school spirit. I love the football and the footballers. I love….. Ok now am boring myself so I'll stop. And I know I am buffered and am living inside the bubble of my university and life outside the university is not as rose tinted (I get reminded of that everytime i go downtown to Walmart or to USC) but inside this cozy little world, I am happy.

What plans for the future? I don’t know. They change every few seconds. But am beginning to enjoy this indecision, this not knowing. So I'm going with the flow as of now.

P.S. The quarter officially comes to an end its time for acknowledgements. To all my friends who bore the brunt of my quarter blues, thank you. To Maya for being the person I respect the most, the next post will be on you, I promise. To Anjana, you may have won and may know how to kick a ball better but UCLA still rules 4eva! To you, I have quoted you but not cited you but you know who you are and thanks a lot for everything. I think survived this quarter on coffee and you. And to all my family member who secretly read my blog to check up on me, I hope you've stopped hyperventilating now.

[1]Trojans-students of rival university USC. Rivalry between UCLA and USC is gigantafuckingpopular. For more information refer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UCLA%E2%80%93USC_rivalry. Look at me, I'm using footnotes! I'm so grad student-ish!

Why Life really sucks sometime....

To be given the power to dream when you're not gonna be given the dream; to see it so clearly, that you can reach out and touch it, almost, and then to watch it dissolve. Why the sadistic joke, God?

To all the people who read my blog to find out what I'm not upto- part 2

To those who were wondering whatever happened to me, with much sorrow I say this- "I was too busy to write." (Gasp!)

Again I am too bored to formulate paragraphs plus I have already repeated the following content several times to several friends and family members and there is a limit to even my ability to say the same stuff over and over again, so I'll pretend I'm writing a not-so-substandard blog post and you can all pretend that you like it. Those of you kind enough to take the pretense a little bit further to leave glowing remarks and comments, I shall forever be indebted to you.

Chennai airport had tightened up security in the days prior to and after the Independence day (India's Independence day btw) so visitors were not allowed into the sendoff area. So alas, I had no company inside the airport except my mom of course (to the uninformed, my mom works in Air India so I can afford a few perks like this). Got teary eyed at several points in the last few days, some out of frustration and some out of nostalgia. To all my family members who came to say goodbye, to the friends who came to help me pack and ended up lazing around and taking pics of me doing it instead, to the friends who kept me on the phone till the second I boarded the airplane, to the friend who realized at the very last second that "Oh shit, you're leaving for real!", to the friend who sent a last optimism-booster message, to the parents of friends for their blessings and for their pride, I heart you!

The flight to KL was expected. Alas! I didn’t land a hot Vinay look-alike in the seat next to mine but I did get a certain kind Mr.Wong who helped me load and offload my luggage from the ovehead compartment AND offered me his magazines AND the last glass of juice from the tray when the airhostess ran out of them just as she reached our row. Ah! So chivalry is not dead after all! KL airport was 'OMFG brilliant'. For all you brand droppers out there, it had everything your wildest dreams could possibly conjure. It took every last ounce of social etiquette in me to not behave like a complete boor and start snapping pics of myself in front of Prada, Gucci, Versace….. someday, someday I will earn enough to shop there!

The next part of the flight (KUL-LAX with an hour's stopover at taipei) was boring to say the least. Tried seeing movies for a few hours, got bored, tried watching White Collar and other series for a few hours, got bored, tried watching powerpuff girls and dexter's laboratory for a few hours, got bored, tried learning french and italian in the e-learning module for a few hours, got bored after I got past arrivederci and je'taime, spilt water in the seat next to me thereby driving the poor lady and my only neighbor away, tried eating exotic sounding sea food and experimenting with the cheap on-flight wine, tried sleeping just to forget the cramps in my leg (Damn economy class!), tried not bursting into tears until I finally, finally and that’s a big finally, landed in LAX.

LAX was nice but after KL airport even that seemed small and shabby. Anyway this time there was no kind Mr.Wong to help me and I had to lug all my suitcases myself. Ran around in circles trying to find the cheapest mode of transport to my temp accommodation, finally got tired and caught a cab. Cab driver gave me a rose to welcome me to America and complimented my very Americanized pronunciation. The first time some guy is giving me flowers and it had to be from a cab driver! Oh well! But since I paid the equivalent of a train journey from Chennai-Delhi for that 20 mins trip, atleast he made me feel comfortable in it.

The next few days were a flurry of emotions, all of them extreme. The university is beautiful, the area is fuck expensiv, people are kind and hospitable, weather is awesome though I have tanned a lot from all the walking around that I do (I would have lost 5 kgs by now, so that’s an upside). Found a place a block away from my department building. Its very beautiful and I'll upload pics of it soon. Moved in and spent a sleepless night all alone in there. Alternately starved and gorged on fast food for the first week till I fell sick. Cried myself to sleep the first few nights from the frustration of trying to adjust to the complete lack of space that comes from living along with 10 other people in a 2 Bedroom apartment, until I got sick of it and chose sleeping alone in my new but also cold, dark, unfurnished apartment. Struggled with 6 bags of groceries up 5 blocks all alone till a couple of fellow tamil batchmates rescued me (for a short distance anyway). Got helped by totally random strangers on the road but also got cussed at and called gypsy and a lotta assorted four letter words by a few narrow minded, punk headed, prejudiced assholes. And all of you who argue that money doesn’t buy happiness, eat your words. The friendliness and general buoyancy of the people is directly related to the area they live in. Near my university, everyone is rich, everyone is relaxed and everyone is happy to help. In fact they go out of their ways to come and offer help even when I don’t need it. But when the minute you step off your bus (or car) in downtown you can feel the discontent in the air, like steam rising from the sewage (insert numerous other cliches to be found in pulitzer prize winning books) and things get all creepy crawley and you have to watch out not to get gang raped or shot or stabbed.

Life is great tho. Even with these minor issues. Living and loving every minute and missing all you more. Am now chatting from an illegal wireless link so I'll log off before I get thrown in jail. Arrivederci:)

To all the people who read my blog just to find out what I'm not upto

I'm writing again after a long time. For those of you who wondered about the break, it is not for lack of topics to write about or even worse, that I was too busy to write (*shudder*). It is just that right now I am too restless to sit still for a few minutes and patiently formulate sentences and paragraphs. So if my post is slightly substandard or ends up sounding like ramblings on a gtalk conversation, I hope you would find it in you to forgive me or clear the hell out of my page.

Preparations to send Divya to the big A have started full fledged at my home. The whole family (minus me) is running around, looking busy, announcing to everyone in sight that I'm leaving to the US of A (California pora, very nice climate you know. LA, the place with all the stars!) And since I'm the latest export to US, everyone who has a son/daughter abroad (which includes almost everyone in my family) has some advice to give and some contact or trivia to remember. And much to my surprise, most of them are quite useful. Like the paati who said there was a temple in Malibu which is an hour's drive from LA and which serves nice Indian food in the canteen. Me, being the girl who had long previously researched all beaches and nightclubs in and close to the city and ignored more practical necessities of student life (like Indian food serving temples), found this grandma-interaction session quite informative. The same paati also advised me very strongly to visit Vegas (I swear I have the coolest globe trotting grandmas in the country). And once the contacts-and-trivia-and-i-know-so-much-about-the-US session is over, every conversation takes the same bent. "Come back," they say. I assure them that I will. They give me a skeptic look and shake their heads. Then they give me a 500 Rs note (Yes!!! The part I've been waiting for!) and bid me farewell. And I drive away while they stand alone in their balconies thinking of their sons and daughters and grandkids in the US, the ones that left and never came back.

I went to Tirupati this week, the fulfillment of a promise I made to my grandma to take her there. Having never been to Tirupati before and not knowing what to expect, it was a shocker of a first time. The long wait, sure I saw that coming. What I didn’t was that I would be shuffling along complaining about leg painand improper management while grandmas and grandpas several decades older than me be running happily, all the while shouting "Govinda Govinda" at the top of their voices. Now, that, was a humbling experience. At one point when I was sick of all the standing around and waiting endlessly and was about to bite off an acidic comment about the poor organisation, a probably in her 60s lady next to me said "Avar azhaikum bodhu namma povom" which loosely translated means that when He is ready to see us, He will call us. That kinda shut me up. And when I first saw the gold-plated domes of the sanctorum, I went "wtf???" in shock, only to have my mom give me the evil eye. The sheer frenzy and faith of the devotees, the opulence and beauty of the temple itself combined with the sleep deprivation of the night before almost brought tears to my eyes. And we got lotsa laddus too. One question though. Why are so many of our temples built on hilltops?

More friends left this week. So more goodbyes to tell. Packing for Maya, sticking labels on her suitcases, checking and rechecking and re-rechecking her documents, knowing that exactly a week later it would be my turn…. Sigh! A lotta pals have promised to come and help me pack too. What will I do without them! Every other day, I go to Anjana's place and talk to her mom and tick off things while she runs through a mental checklist of things to do and stuff to take. Meanwhile Anjana and her roommates promised to give me temporary accommodation in LA if I cant make other arrangements (so I wont stand in the airport with no place to go like Aishwarya Rai from Jeans and no cute looking Prashant will ever rescue me:() My total journey duration is 33 hours, including the 6 hour stopover. Imagine me keeping my mouth shut for a little more than a day. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a hot guy like Vinay sitting next to me a la Unnalle Unnalle, but considering my luck, I'll probably get a seat next to a grumpy old lady or a crying baby. And the brat from Biz class has finally been forced to travel Janta class so I can see another humbling experience in the making.

Mornings are lonely. There is noone to call. Everyone I talk to when I have something to tell are either busy getting paid for staring at computer screens or are in another continent. Times like those suck.

I am standing in my terrace watching the rain clouds rumble over me. Monsoons are my favorite times of the year in Chennai, especially those days when it rains so hard that the government cancels schools and colleges and the electricity is shut down and the water comes to knee level but it still continues raining. I would sit in my balcony, my ipod plugged to my ear, some old book of my mom on my lap waiting to be read, messaging on my cellphone comparing statuses with my friends till the moment when my cell switches off by itself. Sometimes Bunty would sit next to me and we would stare pensively together at the flowing waters while some poor passerby waddles his way to work, drenched to the bone. I could write several chapters on the smell of earth wafting up to me and the resigned and adjusting nature of the Indian temperament in the face of adversity and probably win a Booker prize for it too, but I shall refrain. I will miss the coming 2 monsoons, possibly more. But even if I am here to witness them, I doubt I would have the same carefree monsoon-experiences of the last 4 years.

I am not one of these people who have a native place they travel to every summer. Chennai has been my only home. Sure, I love travelling but this has always been my base point, my touchdown point. Leaving the city I was born in, the city of my childhood, the place I grew up in, where I suffered teenage pangs in, where I fell in love in, where I roamed the streets and discovered hidden secrets in, where every passerby became an 'Anna' when I needed help starting my impudent Activa, where every bus conductor would make sure 'Papa' didn’t stand on the footsteps, where every friends' mother would feel compelled to feed you till you burst even if you are not hungry, where every random stranger on the bus would find it necessary give you advice on the proper use of cellphones, the city I played and studied in and the city that's sending me off for greener pastures in a week is a painful experience. Much more painful than saying goodbye to any person, family or friend. Every street corner, small wall, every song played on the radio holds so many memories. There is so much that I have not done here, so many places I have not seen. I would come back just for the city, just for this dot in the forehead of Tamil Nadu. I wish I could have told that to my Visa interviewer but I doubt he'd have believed me.

The next time I write I probably wont be in India but I'll make sure I upload loadsa pictures so all you people reading this blog in the dusty premises of Gurgaon and Mysore and Siruseri can burn in envy. Till then I remind you to call often.

No, I am not drunk.

There was a time when i had my relationships all figured out, my friends all classified and categorized into neat little boxes: ‘Best friends’, ‘Good friends’, ‘OK-ish friends’, ‘friends to suthify with’, ‘friends you call up’, ‘friends you message’.... it was a world with well-defined boundaries, well-recognized rules. Sometimes people would surprise me and consequently be promoted or demoted to the appropriate level. I miss that rigid world.

Now my world is fluid with relationships that shift and change in moments. People walk in from the periphery of my life and lay claim to it. People whom i considered to be the core of my life walk away or simply fade into obscure mists. Relationships, i can no longer categorize or define with boundaries or set down rules of exchange. And i, who have never been able to shut up, find myself at a loss for words to describe what i share with the people in my life. How do you explain something to somebody that you do not understand yourself? I start sentences that i cannot end. I stare vacantly at people who were once ‘Level 1-Best friends’ and wonder what changed. Some, i have lost to meaningless fights. Some, i have lost to lethargy, a listlessness that we allowed to let grow in our relationship and now we are too far apart with too many spaces between us that the only thing binding us together is a respect for the past, the time whence we walked the same path and looked at life with the same perceptions. And some have changed so completely that you no longer know whether it is they who have changed or whether it was you who’d judged them wrong the whole while, trying to fit them to an image in your head. Others, who wouldn’t have made the ‘friends you call up’ grade a few years back are now some of the people i cannot go a day without talking. One, whom i considered my natural sworn rival 4 years back (for liking the same guy), i talk to everyday and make giddy plans for the future with. And then there are the others. The ones who have always been there. The constants, who despite a few tumults and distractions and angry words and periods of cold accusing silences, have stuck. It is to those few that i dedicate this blog. To the ones who, even if they do not understand, listen to what i wish to say; the ones who, even if i can no longer relate to, i can always talk to (talk as in hold a conversation with as opposed to mindless empty chatter that mean nothing or endless reminiscences of the past); the ones you can laugh with over a drink at interviews and boyfriends and dumb vijay moviesJ

It has been a season of goodbyes, when my memories are reduced to snapshots- a group of 4 girls standing under the neon lights of Southern Residency watching as i walk to the bus, Rd standing outside a train beaming like an idiot, Mani sitting in a hotel explaining (his theory of) why coffee should not be taken together with breakfast, Anpu leaning in her balcony waving goodbye, a wierd call in the middle of the day saying ‘i love you’-snapshots that play an endless montage inside my head set to sappy friendship songs. A season of promises. A season of not knowing what to feel, too scared to hug and say the usual “goodbye, all the best, take care” combo because it sounds so final. A season of watching friends leave and counting down the ones still left and the days until you have to leave too. A season too sparkling with the possibilities of the future to regret or wish for the past. And a season that doesn’t seem to be ending any time soon. So till then, heres to more sad FB statuses and early morning trips to railway stations and listening to people crib about bad food and internet restrictions and training assignments. Hic!

P.S. May God bless TCS and the few other companies and universities who have delayed their joining dates to allow me the pleasure of the little company i have left. Amen.

How to write a romance novel

The following is a summary of any given Mills & Boon or Silhouette novel.

Note to Readers: Please do not be misled into thinking that this makes me an authority on Mills & Boon or that I am a big fan of their romances. My encounters with M&B were entirely for educational purposes only, as to the uninitiated teenage girl, they often serve as a huge repository of information on....er positions and a few other logistics and technicalities. In fact, I remember having clandestine group M&B reading sessions when I was in my 8^th std but I digress. So for any doubts and references, please contact Rd;)

Rich (possibly heir of a few millions), hot, handsome, tall, playboy hero meets poor (a little), beautiful, gutsy but naive heroine who probably has lost her entire family to a car crash and has to live with evil step-mom/miserly aunt/ kind grandma. They have a flashy first meeting, exchange a few barbs and discover they like exchanging barbs. Heroine thinks hero is conceited. Hero thinks heroine has pluck and is instantaneously attracted to her and her innocence. They argue and they argue and in the midst of it, discover they like each others’ company. Hero seduces heroine but convinces himself he is not in love with heroine. Heroine puts up a brave (though flimsy) front but ultimately gives in to her (latent) feelings and hero’s seductions. But when confronted with the reality of the power of their love, both lose their nerve. Heroine does not want to be the first to announce that she is in love because she thinks the hero is only stringing her along and has no feelings for her. Hero does not want to be the first to tell his love because he is macho and then the story would end early and the author would not get a chance to display the actual sweet, sensitive, mushy core of the tough hero in the final climax. Enter evil, rich, sexy (as opposed to sweet heroine) girlfriend (ex) of the hero. Girlfriend becomes jealous of heroine, realizes she is losing her throne to a Cinderella and decides to do away with her. Girlfriend meets heroine in private and tells her how hero is just using heroine for sex and how his status will be affected if he is seen along with heroine. Heroine convinces herself that her sacrifice is for the good of her love and leaves country. And oh yeah, she manages to stand up to her evil step-mom/ miserly aunt too and finally take control of her life. After heroine runs away, hero realizes how truly he is in love with her but believing the story told by jealous girlfriend, thinks heroine never really loved him and decides to let her go. But after a suitable moping period (usually 3 months), the kind butler reveals to the hero that all is not as it seems. Hero, after kicking jealous girlfriend and her social climbing mother out of the house, uses his vast resources to track down the heroine. They meet and after a touching reunion where both of them confess their love for each other, share true love’s kiss and live happily ever after.

Insert a few matter scenes here and there and a few corny dialogs like “You are my world now”, “My love, my life!” and you are set to write your own romance novel. Whats more, you might even manage to canoodle a few jobless gooses like Rd into buying your books. Happy writing! :)

Twilight, Conversations and Realizations

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and she was explaining to me why she did not like twilight.

“It ended too happily” said she. “Bella got everything she wanted-she got converted, a husband, a child, a family, a friend. Everything. It was too much. Meyer should have killed someone in the end, just to make it sound real. And made the ending more ambiguous.”

And instead of calling her a sadist, i actually agreed with her.

I don’t when exactly it happened, but sometime in the last four years I turned Cynical. Cynical to the point that in a story of vampires and werewolves, the only point that offended my (or I should say our) sense of reality was that everyone lived happily ever after as one big family.

I scoff at fairy tales, at driving into the sunset, at happily-ever-afters. As my friend pointed out, happily-ever-afters are boring. And unreal. I have come to point where I wouldn’t trust a happily-ever-after if it slapped me in the face. Unless there is a story of compromises behind it. I am not so far gone that i look for the catch in every situation or search for complications where none exist (as opposed to what some people think of me). And i am definitely more optimistic than most of my friends put together. But i no longer am the idealist dreamer I used to be. No longer believe that I can play solos like Slash. Or that World Peace can be achieved by a touching dialog in a Mani Ratnam movie set to A.R.Rahman’s background score. Or in guys who are smart AND strong AND sensitive AND open car doors for you. It’s not that i don’t want the aforementioned scenarios to happen. It's just that i cant believe they would be handed out on a platter like hot dogs in a ball game. As my friend said, easy victories are boring. There must be challenges. And problems we can laugh about later over a cup of coffee together. And for once, I agree with her.

Reasons why life really sucks sometimes...part 3

Some people have never heard of Guns And Roses let alone heard them. And there are people who think November Rain is not the best song of all time!

Obituary: Black Spotted One and Yellow Streaked One

May your soul rest in peace and may you find eternal bliss swimming in the golden straits of heaven, free from all natural predators and furthermore free from pesky humans from beyond the looking glass. May you find abundant food and eat to your heart’s content without having to die from it. You will be forever in our hearts and blog. Your absence will be greatly felt.

Bereaved Anantharamakrishnan family members and guilty friend.

P.S: The above is an obituary (as you would have noticed) for the two fish of the author’s friend that the author killed by feeding them extra food (apparently fishes cannot stand more than their recommended daily dietary intake) in order to make them do something, anything more exciting than just aimless swimming around and bumping into the glass. The author would like to remind complainant that she meant no harm and was just trying to alleviate the heavy boredom that had settled on her while she was waiting for said complainant to get dressed. Besides, the greedy fish should have had better sense than to eat till they’re dead. You’d have thought they’d hesitate to think a little atleast when it’s a matter of life and death. But no! They had to whiz around so excitedly at the food pellets that the author felt compelled to feed them more. Sheesh! Fish!

P.P.S: I am so sorry Mr.Anantharamakrishnan. I didn’t know they’d dieL. I didn’t mean to murder them, I swear. *sniff sniff*

Long Due....But more shall come

I give in. This one’s for the nostalgia. The last one week i’m being bombarded by senti FB statuses and sad smiley msgs from all directions. And I managed (mostly) to remain resolutely cynical. But today got me thinking and i decided to compile a list of the things about college I’d remember the most. I know there are loadsa more incidents that i’ve failed to mention and several more that I’ve forgotten all about (as my friend’s slam books remind me every time) and other embarrassing ones that i’ve conveniently repressed but these I believe will come with me to the end.

My 21^st birthday cum advanced new year cum temporary-farewell-for-anjana-and-maya party:

Due to the public availability of this post and due to peer pressure and due to anjana, maya and niru promising to kill me if i post any finer details regarding this incident, I shall refrain from doing so. But after a very very long time, I felt truly excited. My actual birthday, to say the least, was a mess. Unfortunately stupid CTS decided to hold his campus placements in our college the day after my birthday. As a result, most of my friends were too busy preparing. A well meaning friend actually tried to convince me to stay over at her place to teach me 4 years worth of Information Technology. But I didn’t want to remember my 21^st birthday as the birthday I learnt IT, so.... And so the beat part of my birthday was spent sitting at home, staring at my Fb wall and refreshing it every few seconds. Sure i had a great lunch with my mom and sis at the Adyar Park (courtesy of some vouchers my mom had) and sure I got some totally cool gifts from my friends but anyway.....

So getting back, my actual birthday was a very ok-ish one. But this.....this was what a 21^st bday was supposed to be about. Loadsa firsts. Loadsa comedies trying out the firsts. Loadsa frowning on anjana’s part. Loadsa phone calling on her mom’s part. An ultimate suprise that the idiots actually managed to maintain as a suprise (History with a capital H)-cutting cake in the middle of the road with the Raintree parking attendants looking on weirdly, driving back close to midnight on a Scooty on reserve, praying praying praying it wont stop midway, catcalls in the petrol bunk......*sigh* Total hoot!

Sitting under the tree near the dustbin at stores and discussing ‘Vine of desire’:

Anpu, Rd and I- the feministic trio of our class. Or atleast the more vocal trio of the feminists of our class. And also I would like to believe the better read trio of our class. Throughout these four years, through all the fights we’ve had and through all the silent treatments, despite it and maybe because of it, we’ve always shared books. One book that totally blew us off our feet was Vine of Desire. I remember me closing the book midway ‘coz i got a headache from all the emotions it made me feel. I remember Anpu messaging me to say she was scared of what the book was making her feel. I remember Rd sending me an almost replica of the same message a few days later. Sitting under the tree discussing marriage and love and betrayal and Rd’s expectations in a guy and laughing and laughing over it and walking to close to conduct interviews of all my classmates about what they look for in a guy and then writing a crazy blog about it months later when I come across my interview notes by accident..... Not something I’d forget easy.

Lotsa other conversations would come close. Like the time, the three of us sat together in System Software or some other forgettable class and started talking about whom we would save if a hypothetical anthrax warhead went off in the boys side of the class. Which led to whom we would save if one went off in the girls side of the class. And then in the event that one went off in a Staff meeting. Then came the other department students. Which led to the realization that the people whom we like and whom we considered worth saving in the entire college wouldn’t fill a College Bus. Sad but not reallyJ

April Fools day 2010:

Thanks to my project guide who hardballed me into staying late into the evening for Documentation purposes, i had to return home by ptc all alone. Which led me to play the most successful pranks of my entire life on a few unsuspecting souls. And the ironical part is the prank wasnt even my original idea. It was one I’d fallen for earlier in the evening and decided to try it out on my friends. Man did they fall hook, line and sinker. I thought I’d definitely lose it when Anjana called to confirm but boy am i a great liar! Sometimes I think I went too far, but it wasn’t my fault some people forgot and continue to forget what I’ve mentioned to them loadsa times. And i just had way too much fun. So long suckers!:)

Kathipara-post some Benny Dayal and Krish concert -10.30 in the night -80 kmph-Anjana screaming behind me:

I remember this every time i climb Kathipara. Hopefully I will for the rest of my life.

IPT:

Story in short: I got stuck at an in-plant training at my mom’s office (so guess what, i cant even bunk) with two idiot love birds who were resolutely trying to pretend they were just friends. And i was the proverbial extra limb. Gave an all new meaning to “three is a crowd”. I can still remember Mani throwing I-swear-just-born-babies-would-lose innocent looks when I (like the clueless klutz that I am) tried to tease him. And reading Michael Crichton’s Airframe all alone in a corner while the other two played Chess (Yes brilliant idea you two! Bring a game that can only be played by two when there are exactly three in the group). And waiting all alone in the lobby while the other two would saunter in laughing together (they both came by train, albeit different trains still trains, so they would wait for each other in the station and then come together). Not to mention the friend’s wedding I went to where for the first time in my life I felt like a tag-along. And to top it all, convincing the rest of the suspicious class that they were just friends and that I would KNOW if they werent. To all the friends of couples, I take a bow. And remember the golden rule- If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck....

Canteen:

Nuff said.

Suby:

It was 3^rd year and my friends and I were in Kurukshetra. I was tired but Asmi forced me to participate in K-Idol saying we have to participate in everything and get value for coming all that way. So despite my better notions I gave in and filled out their written test, wrote an essay on why Indian Engineering Education sucks and came out. I remember checking my phone to find 7 new messages and 21 missed calls, i remember thinking that if there were so many people trying to contact me, either a)results are out or b)somethings terribly wrong or c)all of the above. I remember noticing that all the calls were from my school friends and deciding that I’d better get out of there fast. And I remember Maya telling me Suby’s had an accident and that he’s gone and just sitting on the platform outside the Management Hall and just staring at my phone. And Srivi crying and crying and crying on the phone. And me calmly walking out and running into a few more school friends in the canteen who were calmly discussing the accident amidst arguments over what juice to order (looking back now, I guess we were all still in shock but it sounded callous to me then and still does a little now). Ironically I got selected to the next round of K-Idol and the next and had to speak on stage. And all the while I kept thinking Suby’s dead and I didn’t pick his last few calls, Suby’s dead and I ignored him, Suby’s dead and I’m on stage. It took me days before I could drive without saying a prayer first, a week before the shock wore off and I burst out crying in the middle of the class. The night Suby died, I went home and ended a fight that had been going on for months with one of my friends. But I haven’t changed. If i meet another Suby in my life I’d still ignore his last few calls and I’d still beat myself up over it when its too late.

568 C rules 4eva!:

Must also include 570 C and 119. Some of the best conversations I’ve ever had in my life were here. I guess half the revenue the 2 AC buses earned must have come out Arthy’s, Deepi’s and my pockets. Endless gossip sessions in the last row, yakking yakking yakking for hours, trying to get into Arthy’s head that she’d be better off without a few people in her life, trying not to stare too obviously at the couples coochi-cooing in the seat next to us, making up far-fetched plans and dropping them....

Also, another conversation I’d never forget was with Rd on a bus from Tambaram, discussing each others’ families, dissecting each others’ homes. It was the first time I’ve spoken to anyone about my family. I don’t think I’d forget that conversation for a long time to come.

GRE:

An exam I had super fun at and which totally skyrocketed me to celebrity status. An entire sem I spent advising long-forgotten friends and fielding questions from sons of colleagues of aunts about how to tackle the GRE (like I knew Shit! Again...so long suckers). I guess more people called me to ask about GRE than all the people on all my birthdays combined. And after GRE came TOEFL. For a few months of my life, I was so sure my life was made. And then I started applying and it was back to the dumpsJ Oh well! I had my sun-timeJ

3^rd Year tour:

Dancing. Mock Interviews. A photo session at the top of a hill looking all sweaty and tired but looking like we’d just planted the Indian flag on Kiilman-fucking-jaro. Antakshari. Tug-of-war. Cheerleading for tug-of-war. The few (of course) fights and arguments. Perfect!

Farewell:

Loved it. Almost every bit of it. Just for the memories. The dancing and the photos and the (wierd) hairstyles and the ac breaking down and all the senti crying and the ride back in the car full of righteous anger and heaven’s wrath and all the comedies that followed the next few days restoring peace. Let me just say....Great entertainment. You made my last week at SSN Entertaining and Eventful with a capital E.

Lazy afternoons in the 'Secret Room':

Secret no more, I must say I was the one who discovered it. Aah...the number of movies we have spent watching there, the number of times we escaped to its relative privacy, the number of plans made, the time we ‘saved’ a newly-hatched sparrow and guided it in the path to freedom only to watch it get eaten up by a crow just when we were congratulating ourselves. Somethings are better not messed with.

Instincts:

The best for the last. For a long time, college was a place i tolerated between Instincts. It was a phenomenon. From the first to the last. All the memories: sneaking peanuts meant for the chief guests we were supposed to serve as part of our Hospitality volunteering work, endless sponsor hunting, sitting at Maddy’s feet like a sycophantic puppy (I swear i went into the light right then and there), learning to play Counter Strike from the pros in the days leading up to @nd year Instincts (Arathi and I kept dying within seconds until some poor guy who loved the game too much to watch us play it so horribly, took pity on us and showed us how to move forward and how to actually use our guns. We managed to survive for a whole 2 minutes after that :D), the 5 course lunches (biriyani all 5 courses. Advantages of being the youngest girls around and having doting seniors), the midnight kalaais and osi pepsis for which I still get ragged to death, showing my school friends what a cool college I had (walking with Hema, Sugi and Ramya acrossthe ground and being so sure that we’d be friends forever, jumping from chair to chair with Deepak trying to catch a glimpse of the dancers on stage during choreo night, arguing about the merits and demerits of Ragging with Dash while walking from one venue to the next). I met some of my best friends through Instincts and it is something I will forever be grateful for.

And so it all comes to an end. The fun. The laughter. The fights. The praying fervently after every semester. Hell, I’ll even miss Anna University (where else in the world can you get a degree with just black pen, blue pen and double underlining?? J). And God forbid I even miss my project guide. To all the memories I’ve forgotten and the people I’ve missed out, watch out for part 2!